I may be buying a different horse...a not as expensive horse...a horse more suited for me... She's been with beginners a lot, is trained, is just as cute as amy.... I dont know. Every one is telling me that I dont need a horse, that I shouldnt buy a horse. Screw em(joey too)... I've wanted my own horse since I was 6 years old and now that Im old enough I want my own horse. I want to be able to have a horse to go and sit in teh barn with and talk to...to take out on trails when the sky is all cloudy and the air is jsut cold enough to warrant wearing a big fluffy coat. I want my own horse to ride in a parade. Im sick of riding other people's horses(not that im ungrateful for what ron and carolyn ahve allowed me to do) I just want my own baby to love. Anyhoo, her name is Encore and she's a doll. They said I can change her name, so it might become excalibur, but im not sure...if anyone wants to comment on horse names, let me know. Thats all...:)..
20031106
Miao! I have an astronomy midterm I should be studying for. But im not. How tragic. Anyway, I guess people liked my tourniqet thingiemabobber. I really have wanted to do that for a while Its sort of how I can see the video looking. I dunno. Time to go watch Joey's little brother roll around in spandex with other boys his age.... HES A WRESTLER YOU SICKOS!!! ;). Joel and Krystal: I want to come down and go to Disney land when its all Christmassy:). I love it like that:). anyway, Im gonna go, but I wanted to say thanx for the feedback on my story:).
20031104
first of all...that last post was something Ive wanted to do for while. Im not now, now do I plan to be suicidal any time soon. Im not going to kill myself or others, I dont need zoloft, and im well aware that im being depressing again. Okay, now that Ive said that...On to the quizilla results:
You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.
"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."
Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.
As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your element is Earth. I hate to say it but you are
down to earth. Stubborn and loyal. You tend to
want to nurture others and you are the one
person friends always come to for awnsers.
Without people like you others would be flying
over the edge because, whether you know it or
not you keep a steady beat to your life and
will end up where you want to in the end. There
is a sureness about you that is hard to match
that draws people to you. No matter what
happens the Earth keeps turning.
What's your element
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Protector
The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
take em and post results:)
LIttle miss perfect sits alone in a cold bathroom. Her hair is a mess, her once clean clothes are now soaked with blood. No way out. SHe saw only one option. Only one way to fix her life. She dosent want to be her mother. She wants to be herself. Im not them. I wont be. ever.
*i tried to kill the pain
*but only brought more
Soon the floor was covered with blood. No way they can save me now. She slashed again and again. The warm blood was a twisted relif on her cold skin. Its over now, she thought. They cant touch me now. Their baby girl is gone.
*i lay dying
*and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
She looked up and began to question all of this. She suddenly didnt want to die... not like this. She cried to the sky, eyes wide with anguish. She Cried out to her creator. Begged for forgiveness, a forgiveness she knew wouldnt come.
*i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
*am i too lost to be saved
*am i too lost?
Everything began to go black. They wont find me now. She escapes to another world, her mother comes in. The piercing scream echos throughout the house. She carries her daughter's body down the stairs and into the car. Her father complains of the blood on teh interior. Her mother slams the door and leaves without him. The perfect American family has been ruined. This is what she wanted. She wanted to leave it all. The car speeds towards the hospital. THe mother rushes in, her daughter's body laying lifeless in her arms. The staff gathers around. Nurses fill her empty veins with different drugs to try to bring her back. They look hopeless. Soon a surgeon comes. Blood is given, veins are sewn... HEr hearrt beats again. There is hope.
*my God my tourniquet
*return to me salvation
*my God my tourniquet
*return to me salvation
In another world the girl is there. She watches as they try to save her. SHe watches their anguish, regrets what she's done. She cries out for a saviour she lost faith in long ago, unaware her cries are heard. She thinks she is forgotten, that she'll die alone. SHe wishes she didnt cause this pain to her mother. SHe sees her boyfriend staring in through the window. She goes to him, tries to touch him, but cant. All she wanted was to be heard.
*do you remember me
*will you be on the other side
*or will you forget me
SHe begins to pray, to beg. All she wants now is to be heard. Its too late. She's gone. THe doctors still try. She's only been down 30 seconds. we still have a chance. please please her mother begs. save her begs her boyfrined.
*i'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
*am i too lost to be saved
*am i too lost?
For a split second she is alive again. She turns to her mother and her boyfriend. Sorry. Then she's gone. The doctors scramble frantically, to a symphony of wails and screams made by her mother. her mother grabs her hand, pounds her aughter's chest. BE OKAY! BE OKAY! She screams. Her boyfriend is gone. Hes throwing up the contents of the last lunch they shared onto the clean sheets stacked in the hall. A nurse escorts the distraught woman out. She smiles empathetically. the mother shudders. how do you even understand what im going through. the nurse half smiles. my son killed himself too.
*my God my tourniquet
*return to me salvation
*my God my tourniquet
*return to me salvation
They call it. 18:43 pm. They disconnect the tubes. They turn off the squealing monitors. Her brown hair falls limply. A nurse fixes her shirt to cover her belly ring. Her mother walks in and takes the forever bracelet off of herdaughter's wrist. You never got married. I'm going to keep it now. for a reminder. You were my baby. Her mother leaves.
*my wounds cry for the grave
*my soul cries for deliverance
*will i be denied Christ
*tourniquet
*my suicide
The light is low in the trauma room. Her arms lay outstreached. Wrists slashed. The intubation tube still sits in her throat. Her boyfriend walks in and looks at the lifeless form that was once his girlfriend. He shakes his head and wipes a single tear from his cheek. Happy Anniversary angel. He leaves a single blood red rose atop her body, with a ring around the stem. I love you he says. She hovers over what used to be her body. the glass on one window fogs. I love you too she writes. he smiles as he leaves.
